The Story of Us
by dancingfairies
Summary: Lily Evans and James Potter really got off on the wrong foot. Much had to change between them to allow for a relationship...starts at the end of their Sixth Year.
1. Where Were You?

**All right, so I really don't know how long this story is going to end up being. It's my first fic, so it probably isn't brilliant, but I appreciate the read :) Oh, and all the chapter titles will be song names. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP or any characters you recognize.**

_Where in the world did you come from baby_  
><em>You waited just a little too long<em>  
><em>To look my way<em>  
><em>Now it's a little too late<em>

_- "Where Were You When I Was Falling in Love?" Lobo_

* * *

><p>Lily Evans did not typically think much of awkward or embarrassing situations. With all the turmoil going on outside the walls of school, I had learned that it was best to laugh at one's self and move on with life. I went through way too many ridiculous situations in life to get hung up over them. This, however, was just plain awkward.<p>

After a stressful week, I really just needed the time to myself. I had picked up my bath things and headed out, telling Roxy I was going to the Prefects' bathroom for an outrageously long bath, and that I would be back in about an hour and thirty.

As I stepped out of the bath and wrapped my towel around my torso, my skin still tinged pink from the deliciously warm water, I mused that that had been exactly what I needed: relaxing, quiet, and peaceful.

Until they walked in.

I had completely forgotten that Potter, as the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, now had access to the Prefects' bathroom. Black probably tagged along since they were like Siamese twins, attached at the hip.

For a moment, I just stared blankly at them, like a fish out of water, while they gaped right back at me. It wasn't until Potter's eyes started to wander that I snapped back to her senses and let out a small yelp akin to a wounded dog.

"Potter, your eyes have better stop moving unless you want me to hex both of you into next week!" I hissed at them.

The tips of Potter's ears blushed before he quickly shut his eyes. Black, who couldn't resist, shot her a lewd wink before shutting his eyes as well.

"Looking good, Evans," he said with laughter in his voice. "No wonder Prongs has the hots for you."

"Oi!" Potter exclaimed, jabbing Black's side.

I hurried into one of the stalls, desperately holding my towel to myself to keep it from slipping. I sighed as I began to get dressed. My plans had including allowing myself to drip dry (I had this strange liking of wandering around in minimal clothing…weird, I know), but that dream had been cut short by Potter and Black's arrival. Operation Lily's Relaxing Bath: aborted. Slipping on my shoes, I grabbed my towel and toiletries and walked out of the stall.

"Why are you two in here anyway?" I asked them. "And you can open your eyes now."

The two teenage boys opened their eyes, Potter giving me a quick once over after doing so. Git. They were both dressed quite warmly: had they just come in from the grounds? It wouldn't surprise me if they had.

"Well you see, Evans," began Potter, running a hand through his hair (I swear, I hope someone gives this boy a proper haircut one day), "Sirius and I fancied a swim. And, as you probably know, the water is still a bit cold, so we figured we would come in here instead."

I snorted (attractive, I know), my suspicions confirmed. Only these idiots would be overcome with a desire to go swimming in late March in Scotland.

"Well, enjoy your swim then. Try not to blow up the place, yeah?" I said before turning on my heel and walking out of the bathroom. I was slightly annoyed that they had disrupted my attempt at a peaceful ninety minutes to myself, but not nearly as much as I would have been had it all occurred a year ago. It was embarrassing, yes, but not necessarily something worth losing my head over.

And that made me realize just how much my relationship with the so-called Marauders had changed during the course of our sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Thinking back on it, I guess it comes down to Sam. Oh, Samantha Parker. One of my best friends, a self-proclaimed rebel, and one of Hogwarts' most notorious serial daters. Coming into sixth year, Sam had dated more boys than Jenny, Roxy, and myself combined (and Sam did not discriminate…Muggle boys and magical ones were just as equally worthy of a good snog in her books). After Sam's particularly nasty break-up with a Muggle boyfriend over the summer, some idiot named Michael, the four of us had gotten together for a sleepover at my place (Petunia was away with some friends, thank goodness), where Sam had tearfully confessed that she was a bit tired of her serial dating. Roxy, who had been going steady with her boyfriend Edgar Bones since the middle of fifth year and was our resident hoeless romantic, advised her to take some time to evaluate what she wanted from a boy and a relationship before she even thought about going out with another guy.

Sam took Roxy's advice to heart, which was definitely unexpected: she and Roxy are always at ends when it comes to love. Sam skipped out on dating for the majority of our first term. Even after Jenny started dating Ethan and I started dating Adam, Sam had refrained from having yet another one-night stand. However, her romantic break also made her a target for the affections of Sirius Black, the one boy that Sam had always held a soft spot for and yet had never snogged or dated.

This newfound attraction between Sam and Sirius led to a change in the dynamics of the sixth-year Gryffindors. I, of course, had always been relatively civil to Remus, and in our time as Gryffindor prefects had come to consider him as a friend. He was sensible and funny, as well as exceedingly kindhearted. The other three, however, had always really been a bit too immature for my liking. Even Jenny, who played on the Quidditch team with James and had known him since they were toddlers, had never been terribly fond of the Marauders. Shame, really, because they all had so much potential.

It also did not help that over our years at Hogwarts, the boys had played a fair share of pranks on us: putting a Sticking Charm on Roxy's seat in the Great Hall, stealing all of Sam's knickers and throwing them into the lake, blowing up Jenny's cauldron, changing my hair from red to green so that it would "match her eyes". The list was extensive, although they seemed to slow it down once Potter decided that I was his newest fancy. And yet, here we were: the merging of Sam and Sirius' friends at meal times and in the common room was now a common occurrence.

Yes, things had definitely changed between us and the Marauders. While calling them all the best of friends would be a stretch, we did all enjoy each other's company and even had quite a few good laughs. It also helped that Potter had matured quite a bit and had even become a relatively tolerable person…wait, bad thoughts, Lily, bad thoughts.

"Lily!"

Jolted out of my musings, I looked up and smiled as good old Jenny Aberman approached me. Jenny grinned at me and hurried to catch up.

"Roxy said that you were going to take a bath. We didn't think you would be back for at least another twenty minutes or so," she said, slightly out of breath.

"Well, I was interrupted by Black and Potter, so that was kind of cut short," I replied.

"Please tell me you were covered," Jenny said, eyes wide.

"Luckily, yes, but it was still rather awkward."

"Bet James loved it, though."

"Jenny, please."

Jenny giggled. "Can't help it. Poor guy fancies you quite a bit."

"All of Hogwarts and I already know that."

"Yeah, except I don't think it's as one-sided anymore."

I came to a halt in front of the Fat Lady's portrait, startled. Even after years of being friends, it was still slightly surprising that Jenny knew her well enough to make statements like these without even knowing what was going on in my overly active mind.

"Moonstone," I said to the Fat Lady, who promptly swung open to allow the two girls into Gryffindor tower.

Turning to Jenny, I crossed her arms. "I have no idea what you mean."

Jenny hooked her arm with mine and began to drag me up to the dormitories, all the while grinning wickedly. The nice girl face is just a front, I swear. "Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Sam hasn't noticed because she's too busy flirting with Black all the time, but both Roxy and I have come to the conclusion that you might be attracted to James Potter."

I raised an eyebrow at her as we reached our room. "Oh, really? And what makes the two of you say that?"

"What makes who say what?" inquired Roxy. She threw us a curious glance from her spot on her bed, where she was flipping through her Transfiguration book. Typical.

"I was just telling Lily about our theory about her and James," Jenny said with amusement in her voice. "She seems to be in denial though."

"I have a boyfriend, Jenny, and I happen to like Adam quite a bit," I snapped back.

"I think you misunderstand," said Roxy calmly, pushing her book away from her. She crossed her legs and looked at me with those piercing blue eyes of hers. "We're not saying that you love Potter, and in no way are we suggesting that you're being unfaithful to Adam. After all the crap Ryan put you through, we doubt you could ever be unfaithful to anyone." After a brief nod from me, she continued. "We do, however, think that since he isn't as much of an insufferable prat as he used to be, you actually might see him as more of an acquaintance slash friend…or even find him sexy," she finished, smirking.

I shifted uncomfortably under my friends' gaze. I desperately wanted to deny it, but I knew I couldn't. Jenny was incredibly perceptive and had probably noticed how my behavior towards James had changed in recent months. And unfortunately, I had once drunkenly confessed to Roxy that James would be more attractive if he didn't act like such an idiot. Sometimes, I really hate how loose my tongue gets after a few drinks. It really sucks to be a lightweight.

"I think he's clever, friendly, and reasonably good-looking," I replied, choosing her words carefully. "But that's about as deep as it goes."

Roxy nodded. "Yeah, I get you. Still, if you and Adam don't work out and Potter continues on this path to maturity, you two would make cute babies."

We all burst out laughing. "I'll keep that in mind," I replied, still giggling.


	2. At This Moment

**So, a couple of quick things: (1) Lily's relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Ryan, will be explained later on in the story. The reasons for their break-up as well as their whole history will be explored, as well as the aftermath. (2) I know Lily does not have a brother in canon, but she does in this story. George is entirely my creation. (3) For the note, Sam is in italics, Lily is in bold.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own HP.**

_What did you think_  
><em>I would say at this moment<em>  
><em>When I'm faced with the knowledge<em>  
><em>That you just don't love me?<em>

_- "At This Moment," Billy Vera & The Beaters_

* * *

><p>After a nice break from the stresses of school, I awoke on Monday feeling refreshed. This was a shock: I am normally not a morning person, and I was up before Roxy, the eternally chipper blonde I called my one of my best friends. Surprising what a stress-free night could do to my mood.<p>

I took the extra time I had to add soft waves to my normally pin-straight hair. Opting to add a headband to my ensemble, I strolled back to the room to find that Mary and Hannah (my fellow Gryffindor sixth-year girls) had already left for breakfast, Jenny was nearly finished with her morning routine, Roxy was packing her already stuffed bag, and Sam was sleepily pulling on her socks and shoes. I laughed as Sam blearily stumbled to the bathroom, where she pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail.

"Rough night?" I asked her, trying and failing to keep the amusement out of my voice.

Sam gave me a glare before breaking down into giggles. "No one saw me in my towel," she said, laughing at the look on my face, "but Sirius and I snogged for two hours in the common room," she smirked.

Across the room, Jenny tripped over her trunk. "You did _what_?"

Roxy and I gaped at Sam, who just smiled innocently. "What? It's been months since I've had a good snog!"

"Yes, but Sam," Roxy started. "I thought you kind of didn't want a random hook-up."

"What are you saying?" Sam asked, slightly offended.

"Well, Black doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to girls," Roxy told her rather sternly. "I really don't want to see you hurt. And I don't think I could beat Black up if he _did_ do something stupid," she added as an afterthought.

"It's different, though," Sam asserted. I raised an eyebrow, not quite buying her story, and Jenny snorted as the four of us headed down to the Great Hall. "Months ago, he told me that he never takes girls with him to the kitchens, because it's one of the Marauder's 'best kept secrets' or whatever, and yet when I told him I wanted hot chocolate, he insisted that we go. And…I don't know…I don't think I've ever felt this way about someone before."

"Please don't tell me you've turned into a sappy romantic," Jenny asked, looking horrified at the idea. "It's bad enough with Roxy around…"

"No, definitely not," Sam answered with a shudder. "I mean, I still think marriage is a bunch of bullshit – don't give me that look, Roxanne – and really isn't for me, I just think that if Sirius and I were to get together, it might last more than two weeks."

I twirled a strand of hair around my finger, as I was prone to do when I was thinking. My mum considered it a bad habit and swore that one day my hair was going to fall out, but really, it helped me in my thinking. "As hard as it is for me to imagine Black settling down, I kind of agree with you. No, wait, listen!" I added, for Roxy had widened her eyes and her eyebrows were traveling quickly up her forehead. "Sirius has been after Sam for quite a while now. I've never seen him actually try to woo a girl like this. Normally, it comes down to a couple of minutes in a broom cupboard and voila, he's done. Sam hasn't even slept with him and he's eating meals with us. Don't you think that's a little bit odd for someone like Sirius Black? He and Potter never really make an effort to make a relationship last more than a few weeks at most…that's more Remus' department."

Jenny nodded slowly. "And he doesn't seem to be giving up any time soon, even though you two haven't even shagged."

"Exactly," replied Sam smugly. "And we should probably pick a new topic of conversation since he and his posse are already sitting in our spot."

We quickly began talking about their plans for the upcoming Easter holidays. After much waving, smiling, and greeting others ("We are oh so popular," Sam muttered rather sarcastically), we settled ourselves at the Gryffindor table.

"Morning, ladies," Remus said, smiling at the four of us. "Good weekend?"

"Yeah, nothing like practicing for Quidditch in the frigid air at the crack of dawn _on a Saturday_, "Jenny replied sarcastically, throwing a glare at James.

"Practice makes perfect," he answered, smiling cheekily at her.

"Yeah, and you're going to need the entire reserve team after the team dies from the cold," Jenny shot back, smiling slightly as Ethan, her boyfriend, walked over to sit by her. "Besides, the match isn't until the end of May!"

"Aberman, coming from a family of Quidditch players, I thought you would know better than to complain about practices."

Jenny grumbled something under her breath. I managed to catch "maniac," "obsessive," and "absurd" before I was distracted by the arrival of Edgar Bones and Adam Seymour from the Ravenclaw table.

I guess you can say I was quite lucky to be dating Adam. Some of the glares I got when I was with him were proof that I was the envy of a fair amount of girls in the school. As the Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and the year's Head Boy, Adam was popular and attractive to boot.

"Hey, you," he greeted me warmly, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. I blushed slightly at the public display, but smiled back.

"Good weekend?" I asked him, adjusting my headband. Those things should really come with more of a cushion, so it wouldn't engrain itself into my skull.

"Eh, as good as they can get with NEWTs coming up," Adam scowled darkly. "I can't wait till they're over with. Freedom at last."

I smiled sympathetically. "I'm sure you'll survive. You're a brainy Ravenclaw after all."

"Your optimism is only present now because you have yet to suffer the wrath of NEWT preparation. And because you're my girlfriend."

"Perhaps, but if I made it through OWLs, then there is some hope for getting through NEWTs. As for the second bit, well…I would be a bad girlfriend if I wasn't supportive," I laughed lightly.

"Well then thank Merlin you're a good girlfriend," he smiled back at me. "Any big plans for the Easter holidays, love?"

I felt my stomach clench a bit uncomfortably at the word "love," but let it slide. "Nothing too big," I shrugged. "Just going home, seeing my family and probably some cousins. George will be home from Oxford though, so that'll be nice," smiling slightly as I remembered that my brother was coming home for the holiday.

"Good. You can write to me while I waste away at the library. I'll live vicariously through you," he winked at me.

I laughed at that, the knot in my stomach loosening slightly. They continued eating breakfast, and I smiled at the sight that met my eyes: Roxy and Edgar talking animatedly about their plans for the upcoming holidays; Jenny and Ethan laughing over an inside joke; Sam and Sirius engaged in a serious snogging session. So much happiness, contrasting so sharply with the darkness outside the castle walls. An image of my family came to my mind, but I just tried to push it away. It wouldn't do to think about that and ruin my mood for the rest of the day.

My eyes caught Potter's briefly, and I thought I saw a brief flash of sadness in them. Puzzled, I broke the eye contact. What the heck was that about? Potter had never been shy in proclaiming that he fancied me, but he had been through quite a string of girls in the course of this school year alone. Surely, it was the thrill of the chase that he enjoyed. Although…why had I never noticed how bright his eyes were? No, stop, bad thoughts, Lily. Bad thoughts.

Once breakfast was over, we all walked out of the Great Hall to Defence Against the Dark Arts. Our group attracted quite a bit of attention, most due to Sirius and Sam's incessant flirting the whole way. Those two are probably the most hormonal pair I have ever met in my entire life. A little further back, Jenny and Ethan appeared to be in a bit of an argument; curious, I tried to catch a bit of what was going on, but the din in the hallway made it impossible.

Outside our classroom, Adam leaned in to kiss me. When he stepped away, I noticed the way Potter's hands were clenching at his sides, but dismissed it.

Adam grinned at me, caressing my cheek. "Have a good class. I love you."

I froze and felt myself paling slightly (which might have made me transparent…I was already pale). It was the first time he had ever uttered the words, and though I kind of knew it would happen eventually, I was still taken aback. Especially since I did not feel that strongly about him.

He seemed to notice my discomfort, or maybe he realized that I was now so pale I could have joined the Hogwarts' ghosts. "It's ok if you don't say it back. I won't be offended; I just thought you should know."

"Right," I said faintly. Hello, voice, come back now, thanks. "See you at dinner, have a good day." I smiled weakly and waved half-heartedly as he left.

"You look like you've seen You-Know-Who," commented Sam, who seemed to have finally unglued her lips from Black's. She slipped an arm into mine to lead us into class. "What's up?"

"Tell you later," I replied, taking a seat next to Sam and behind Jenny and Roxy. Jenny's cheeks were slightly flushed, as they tended to be after an argument. Beside her, Roxy was humming softly to herself, happy as can be. That girl really had it made. If she wasn't one of my best friends, I would hate her.

I looked around the room as everyone settled in. Edgar had taken a seat next to one of his housemates, Jamie Anderson. The Marauders had chosen to sit in the two tables across the aisle from us. For some reason, Potter looked a bit put-out, and Pettigrew was attempting in vain to cheer him up. Blakc chose a seat next to Remus, smiling smugly and throwing a wink in Sam's direction (who responded with a raised eyebrow and a snort…how romantic). Along the back of the room sat the Slytherins, including (my stomach gave a slight jolt) Snape. It was odd to think that merely a year ago, I still considered him one of my best friends. How much had changed since then, I thought sadly.

Professor Dearborn had barely started the lesson when I felt Sam nudge my side. Glancing over, I saw Sam slide a note over. There was no point in ignoring Sam's notes, as Jenny had learned rather brutally in third year (she reckons her ribs have never healed properly). Sighing, I unfolded it.

_What's got your wand in a twist?_

**You would say something like that. Adam got me thinking.**

_You know you love me. And I figured as much, you looked paler than usual. What happened?_

**Started at breakfast, really. Adam called me "love" and now he told me that he loved me. (PS what's up with Jenny and Ethan?)**

I saw Sam's eyes widen with surprise.

_Is that the first time he's said it? Damn, Lils, that's big…did you say it back? (PS no idea, I was actually going to ask you…it seemed like they were fighting again. We'll ask later.)_

**That's the thing. I couldn't. (PS good plan.)**

_Well, do you love him?_

I paused before answering, a slight frown on her face. Did I love Adam? I certainly cared for him and was definitely attracted to him. However, ever since the debacle with Ryan, I had found it hard to get too attached to anyone. All the boys I had dated between Ryan and Adam hadn't lasted for more than a couple of weeks, yet Adam and I had been together for nearly four months now. Did that mean I loved him? What did it feel like last time?

**I don't really know.**

_Well, you know that Roxy is our resident love doctor so I could be way off, but it sounds to me like you don't. Although I'm sure you like him! Just not love, you know?_

**Yeah, I understand what you mean.**

_We'll discuss this in more detail with Dr. Roxy. You know she knows everything._

**That she does. You and Sirius seem to be getting along…**

_Oh, hush. Turns out he's buying a flat in London not too far from where I live._

**Lovely. The shag spot?**

_No shagging…yet._

**So it IS coming?**

_Oh, of course. Just don't want to rush into it._

**That might the first time I've ever heard that from you.**

_You would understand if you weren't such a prude, little baby Lily. By the way, Jenny and I were thinking that we should all get together at the Leaky Cauldron before coming back. Since we're all of age now, we can drink some firewhiskey with no guilty consciences…that last bit is mostly for perfect Prefect you and Rox._

**I'd have to see how long George is staying at home for, but you know I'm always glad for a reason to escape Petunia.**

_You can hex her now, you know. I'm sure George and your parents wouldn't mind._

I quickly tried to stifle my laughter. Professor Dearborn threw a quick glance in our direction, and Jenny raised an eyebrow at them. I looked back at her innocently, my ace betraying nothing. I had come to perfect this look over the years…it was the only way to keep the teachers from guessing that I wasn't the perfect student they made me out to be. The rest of the class passed rather quickly, despite having to copy a copious amount of notes from the board regarding Inferi. My poor little hand. As we left the room, the four of us gathered together to walk to Charms.

"What the heck were you two up to in there?" Jenny asked, smiling widely. Of course she had seen through my innocent face.

"Adam loves Lily," Sam stated without prologue.

"Keep your voice down," I hissed, as Jenny and Roxy's faces lit up in delight. They looked way too happy about this.

"Oh, Lily, that's so wonderful!" squealed Roxy, ever the hopeless romantic.

"What did you say?" Jenny asked in a quiet voice, glancing around to ensure no one was eavesdropping.

"That's the thing…I didn't say it back," I said, a slight frown forming on my face.

Roxy looked as if she was trying to hide her disappointment. "Oh. Well, it's better to be truthful and not say it than to lie. Do you love him though?"

There it was again, the infamous question. However, this time, I was even less sure about my answer than I was before.


	3. The House That Built Me

**Our first few Lily/James interactions of the story! Yayyy!**

**Things I own: a new book for Spanish Lit, a Chocolate Frog, an iPod. Things I do not own: HP and any characters you recognize.**

_I know they say you can't go home again_  
><em>I just had to come back one last time<em>  
><em>Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam<em>  
><em>But these handprints on the front steps are mine<em>

_- "The House That Built Me," Miranda Lambert_

* * *

><p>The rest of the week was rather uneventful and thus passed slowly. I just wanted to get home and away from Adam, where I could analyze everything in the quiet of my own room in Hertfordshire without Roxy's romantic musings or Sam's cynical comments. Of course, I would have to deal with Petunia's snide comments about my freak abilities, but a quick Silencing Charm could always fix that. I loved being of age.<p>

On Friday, I awoke quite suddenly from my sleep. It was still early, but try as I might, I could not get back to sleep. Bugger. Frustrated, I showered and got dressed before heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast. I wasn't surprised to find it relatively empty, but I was surprised to see James Potter sitting alone at his usual spot at the Gryffindor table. I warily made my way over to him. While we were definitely on better terms, we were by no means great friends.

Potter gave me a crooked smile as I sat across from him, but I couldn't help but notice how tired he looked: his hair was messier than usual (a feat in itself), there were dark circles under his eyes, and his uniform looked quite sloppy. McGonagall was going to give him an earful later.

"Morning, Evans," he greeted me.

"Morning. Where's the rest of your gang?" I knew that Remus would be in the hospital wing (the full moon had been the night before) but that didn't explain the absence of Black and Pettigrew.

"Still sleeping. We were up quite late last night."

"Why does that not surprise me?" I smirked.

"No night is complete without a bit of mischief, Evans darling," he countered, a smirk gracing his face.

"It's never 'a bit' with you four. You lot have a flair for the dramatics. And stop smirking like that, it's unbecoming of you."

"Didn't know you were so concerned with my appearance, Evans. I'm flattered."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be. I'm merely looking out for you, seeing as you don't have much else going for you."

"Harsh. Doing anything interesting for the holidays?"

"Not really. I'm going home to see my family, but that's basically it."

"That's interesting to me."

"You can't be serious, Potter?"

"Actually, I'm James, but that's besides the point," he said, smirking at the age-old joke. "It must be great to live amongst Muggles. That's why I took Muggle Studies, you know."

"It's not that fascinating really. The magical world is much more interesting and exciting."

"But you say that because you grew up Muggle."

"True, but also because, after having experienced both, I think I have enough information to judge accurately."

"What's it like, living in both worlds?"

Potter looked at me, eyes full of curiosity. I was slightly surprised that he seemed genuinely interested in my life as a Muggle-born witch, and was struck by the realization that this was the first real and civil conversation I had ever had with James Potter.

"Well," I said slowly, "it's kind of bizarre. You don't really fit into either world."

"How so?"

"Well, for Muggles, most of them consider magic to be weird and strange. Even when I was younger, I knew there was something different about me, but I couldn't quite place it. Then, with the magical world, there's all the prejudice against Muggle-borns and how we don't deserve to learn magic."

"Which is the biggest pile of dragon dung I've ever heard," James said with disgust.

"Perhaps, but the prejudice still exists."

"Are you scared, Lily?"

The question took me aback. Not only had Potter used my first name, but he was addressing the very issue I tried to avoid thinking about. While it was nice to have a normal conversation with Potter, I didn't feel comfortable enough just yet to go off describing the fear that plagued me every day, not for myself, but for my family back home.

I was saved from answering by the arrival of the rest of the Fab Four (Sam takes full credit for that name). Roxy plopped down on my right and Sam stumbled into the seat on my left. Jenny settled herself across from Sam, on Potter's right.

"Remind me again why breakfast is important?" mumbled Jenny.

"So you can stay healthy and in tip-top shape for your job as Gryffindor's Chaser," replied Sam with a yawn. "Trust me, you'll thank us when you're off playing professional Quidditch. Just try to remember the little people who got you there."

"Jack says you all used to wake up at the crack of dawn to start your day when you all were younger," Potter said with amusement in his voice.

"Not by choice! It's hard to get adequate sleep when you're growing up with five siblings," Jenny sighed sadly. "Clearly, my parents never learned about contraceptive potions."

Potter and Sam, both only children, laughed, while Roxy smiled sympathetically. Overhead, the owls began to swoop down, bringing the post with them. Potter's owl appeared to be carrying a rather large box of sweets ("Spoiled brat," Sam muttered under her breath) while Roxy's owl carried a copy of the _Prophet_. I saw my owl, Athena, approach with a letter attached to her leg. After giving her a piece of bacon, I untied the letter and began to read.

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope you're doing well. I cannot tell you how excited your father and I are that you are coming home shortly. It's been ever so lonely without you and George around._

_Your father will be going to pick you up from King's Cross tomorrow. If he isn't there when you arrive, just sit on one of the benches outside the platform. _

_I know the girls probably have their own plans with their families, but if any of them would like to sleepover at some point during the week, tell them we would be more than happy to have them!_

_Do stay safe, and please try to pack tonight and not tomorrow morning._

_Love,_

_Mum_

Oh, Mum. She knew me so well.

* * *

><p>Of course, I did not heed my mother's advice, and Saturday morning I was running around frantically to finish my packing.<p>

"You know we're only going home for a week, Lilykins," Sam said, raising her eyebrows at my trunk.

"I like having options," I shot back.

Once the four of us had finally managed to finish our packing, we headed out onto the grounds and towards the train. Sam seemed to have a Sirius Black radar, for she lead us straight to a compartment with the Marauders.

"You lot are _always_ together!" cried Roxy exasperatedly. "I wouldn't be surprised if you went to the loo all together."

"Well, I rather value my privacy in the loo," Remus said with a slight smirk on his face. "Padfoot, on the other hand, has never had any qualms about privacy."

"Oh, reeeeeally?" Sam asked, shooting Black a wink. These two were the definition of teenage lust.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Sirius said flirtatiously. I tried to keep my stomach from releasing its contents.

We spent most of the ride playing Exploding Snap. Potter and Jenny were extremely competitive, and by the end of the game their faces were covered in soot. Roxy wrinkled her nose at the smell and Remus could not keep a straight face as Black complained about how all this dirt was "damaging his gorgeous locks." By the time we rolled into the station, we had all cleaned ourselves up and begin to unload our luggage.

"Looking forward to seeing your family, Evans?" Potter asked me as he reached up to help me get my trunk.

"Definitely. Hogwarts is wonderful, but nothing beats my mum's cooking or my dad trying to convince me to play rugby with him and my brother," I replied, smiling at the thought.

"What's rugby?" he asked me interestedly.

But I couldn't respond, for at that very moment, Potter had managed to lift my trunk down, giving me a nice view of his flexing bicep.

Sweet Merlin, Quidditch was brilliant.

As my eyes continued to wander, I realized just how nice Potter's forearms were. They were tanned from Quidditch practices and looked lean and muscular without bulging.

"Evans?" Potter asked, looking at me curiously.

And the way his lips moved when he spoke…

NO! Bad thoughts, Lily. Remember Adam.

Coughing, I tried to remember what he had been asking me. "Oh, right, rugby. Um, it's a muggle sport."

"I didn't know you played sports, Evans," Potter said, looking rather amused.

"I know the basics of rugby and football thanks to all my male relatives." That was evading the truth. Anyone who had ever seen me play rugby knew I was absolutely terrible at it. I was fine with the running. Heck, I even enjoyed the running. But the contact was a completely different story. The screeching that ensued when someone got within five feet of me…

"Maybe you can teach me sometime," Potter said, giving me a small smile.

My stomach gave a little flutter. This was not normal. What was happening to me? "Um, yeah, maybe," I said weakly.

He chuckled at that. "Have a nice holiday, Evans. Stay out of trouble, yeah?"

I scoffed. "Says the master of trouble-making."

He winked at me then proceeded to stroll out into the muggle world with his friends, who were spending the Easter holidays at his place. I caught up with Sam, Roxy, and Becky, Roxy's younger sister.

"Where's Jenny?" I asked, looking around for Jenny's tall self.

"She left with Jane to look for Jill and Jack while you were making gooey eyes at Potter," Sam smirked. That girl never missed anything. Ugh.

"I did no such thing," I countered weakly, while Roxy and Becky roared with laughter. Rather than being helpful and discouraging my study of Potter's rather nice arms, they were encouraging it. Absurd.

We crossed the barrier into the muggle world, where Mr. and Mrs. Schneider stood waiting for Roxy and Becky. I greeted them warmly; they were truly two of the nicest people I had ever met. Sam and I hugged Roxy goodbye ("If you don't write to me, Roxanne, our friendship is over," Sam threatened darkly) and walked towards the entrance of King's Cross.

"You know I'm going to be apparating to your place within the next 48 hours to get the details on your Potter eye fest," Sam smirked as we approached her mother.

"Funny, I anticipated that you would let it slide," I shot back drily. Under her raised eyebrow, I let out a reluctant giggle and I gave her a playful shove before searching for my dad.

I found him rather quickly, beaming at me. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. My father gave off a rather intimidating vibe. As a Group Captain for the Royal Air Force, he just had this air of authority about him. He had raised the three of us with the strict discipline of a military household. In reality, though, he was just a big softie. Or maybe that's because I'm the youngest, and his "little Lily-flower."

"Hi, daddy!" I said warmly, letting myself be enveloped by his hug.

"Hi, Lily-flower, it's great to see you," he grinned at me, his green eyes sparkling. "I brought a guest with me." He gestured over his shoulder, and I leaned around him to look (at almost 2 metres, my dad was significantly taller than me). I squealed in delight when I saw who it was.

"George!"

I let go of my dad at the sight of the blonde head that I knew belonged to my older brother. His trademark grin adorned his face as he saw me. George was as much Dad's clone as I was Mum's. Same short blonde hair, same nose, same body structure. The only difference lay in their eyes: whereas Dad had the same green eyes I did, George had inherited my mother's light blue eyes.

"Hey, Alecky," he greeted me, using his age-old nickname for me. "I spent all term waiting for you to sneak out of school to come to Oxford."

"George, you really should set a better example for your sister," my dad reprimanded with a laugh, pushing my cart out of the station and toward the car. "Give her ideas like that, and we'll have another incident like the Explosions of '66."

George and I burst out laughing at that one. I always berated the Marauders for their pranks, but I would get such an earful if they knew about my own top-secret pranking life. Ok, not terribly secret, since the girls knew about it (and often helped me…I love my friends).

"Do you remember the look on Professor Anderson's face when he realized how flooded the school was?" George asked me excitedly, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

"And how wet we all were! Soaked, even!" I answered fondly as we got into the car and proceeded to drive away. It had been a good prank: back when the three of us were still in primary school together, we had proceeded to blow up all the toilets in the main building. Petunia took the ones on the first floor, I did the ones on the second, and George did the ones on the third. Being the eldest, George decided to take all the blame, but my parents knew the three of us had plotted it together.

"Yeah, it was great explaining that to Eton, right, George?" my dad asked, throwing a side glance at brother, who was in the passenger seat. George just grinned.

The drive home took about an hour, but it seemed like much less than that thanks to George's outrageous stories about his second year at Oxford. When we turned onto our street, I couldn't help but look out the car window in admiration. As much as I loved London and the fabulous/glamorous allure of it, it can't hold a candle to the picturesque village of Goffs Oak. Driving up the lane toward my childhood home made me realize that even though Hogwarts was beyond wonderful, there truly was no place like home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, quick things to note: (1) Petunia will be introduced in the next chapter. You'll get to see what her relationship with her family is like, and she will also reveal some rather important news. (2) For those of you wondering about the age difference between the Evans siblings, George is two years older than Petunia, who is two years older than Lily. George is in his second year at Oxford, and Petunia is in the midst of her gap year between sixth form and university. (3) Lily's past relationship with Ryan, as well as some of her Muggle friends, will be introduced in about another two or three chapters. **

**Thanks for reading! x, Nic**


	4. Back To The Start

Hello, readers! :) I want to thank all of you who have favorited this story/added it to your story alerts...it means so much to me! I'm going to do my best to update regularly once the fall semester starts in a few weeks, but I definitely won't be updating as much as I do now. It'll probably be about once or twice a week. Enjoy the next chapter! Xx, Nic

_People seem to love you_  
><em>They gravitate towards you<em>  
><em>That's why I started to hate you so much<em>  
><em>And I just completely ignored you<em>  
><em>- "Back to the Start," Lily Allen<em>

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" I yelled as soon as I entered the foyer. I was greeted by the sweet smell of strawberries that seemed to be constantly present in my house, even when we had none in the house.<p>

"Oh, Lily dear!" exclaimed my mum, running into the foyer with her apron still on and a bit of flour on her face. My grin grew even wider; I could probably rival the Cheshire Cat now. She always baked cookies when I came home for holidays and it was clear that she had not forgotten to do so this time.

I ran up to her and hugged her tightly. "Hi, Mum," I said warmly.

She returned my hug before pushing me back and holding me at arm's length. "You've lost weight, dear. Have you been eating properly? Or not eating enough to match your exercising?"

Typical Mum. She was worrier: whether my socks matched, if the wind was too strong, if there was a new freckle on my face. Really, it would not help if she wanted to keep herself from graying.

"Mum, you know I have a fast metabolism," I replied easily. "Besides, it's been a few days since I've actually practiced any ballet."

She looked at me as if she didn't quite believe me. "Well, at least I have you home for the week," she finally said briskly. "The drive was all right, Daniel?" she asked my dad, who had just walked in with George and my trunk.

"Of course," Dad replied smiling. "George, take this up to Lily's room, please."

"Sure thing. Wanna join, Alecky?" my brother looked at me expectantly.

I briefly wondered whether George would ever grow tired of his childhood nickname for me before laughing. "Sure, let's go."

"Make sure you both wash up, dinner will be ready in about ten minutes," my mom called out after us.

"We'll be clean as a whistle," I assured her, levitating my trunk up the staircase. My brother's eyes lit up; he loved it when I did magic. He looked almost as excited as he did when he set a bunch of bees after my Grandmum. Almost.

When we reached the landing, we were greeted by a sneering face. I instantly lowered my trunk.

"Hey, Tuney," I greeted my sister warily.

She wrinkled her nose at me as if I was a baby who needed to have my nappy changed. "Freak," she muttered darkly, glancing over my wand.

"I prefer the term magically-inclined," I retorted.

"Give it a rest, Petunia, there are worse things in the world…and you should really stop sneering like that, it's unbecoming of you," George told her irritably before hoisting up my trunk and marching off to my room with it. Petunia just turned her nose up at the two of us and stalked down the stairs, leaving me to sulk after George.

It was odd to think that when we were younger, the three of us used to get along so well. Especially Petunia and I: we were essentially best friends. Funny how much life can change because of one measly letter.

"I'm setting your trunk here," George said, gesturing to the foot of my bed.

"Thanks, George," I said appreciatively. I smiled as I glanced around my room. If any of those pureblood maniacs saw it, they would have an aneurysm: loads of Muggle novels, a Beatles poster, records, tons of photos (both moving and still).

"Listen, Lily," George started, adopting a more serious tone.

"Don't even start, George. I'm used to it."

He looked at me quizzically. "How did you know that's what I was going to say?"

I laughed at him. "Well, for one, I'm your sister. Two, because your voice got all serious. Three, because you called me Lily rather than Alecky."

He burst out laughing. "You are quite perceptive, young grasshopper."

"Actually, I consulted my crystal ball before I got home so I knew everything that would transpire in this conversation," I deadpanned.

"Oh? So I assume you know what I'm going to say next then?" he asked me in mock seriousness.

"Of course. You are going to suggest we wash up, so that Mum doesn't blow a gasket when we are a millisecond late to dinner," I answered with a smile.

"Right-o, little sister," he said, pushing me out of my room and towards the loo. "So hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to the loo we go!"

After washing our hands and scrubbing under our nails (my mom was a bit obsessive, a trait she passed to Petunia), we headed downstairs. About halfway down the stairs, I decided that walking was boring and that sliding down the banister was much easier and much more fun.

"Lily," Dad scolded slightly as he saw me sliding down. "Not very lady like."

Typical Dad. Even though he was a softie at times, discipline and order was a big deal with him. It's the reason why I had to maintain a relatively clean record at school: anything too mischievous would bring dishonor on him, the RAF, the empire, and on and on and on. Bit ridiculous, really.

"Yeah, Alecky, imagine what Grandmum would say if she saw you," George said in mock disapproval.

"That I will never marry any respectable man and that I will bring shame on the entire family," I said solemnly, trying to contain my laughter.

"Dinner's ready," my mom called from the dining room. The five of us rushed in and settled around the table: Dad at the head, Mum on his right, George on his left, Petunia next to George, and me next to Mum.

"Lasagna!" cried George. "Mum, have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not recently. Oxford must be corrupting your manners," Mum replied, smirking slightly. She had never quite forgiven George for choosing Oxford, Dad's alma mater, over Cambridge, which was hers.

"So, Lily-flower," Dad interrupted before George could retort and start another Oxbridge argument. "How did your term go?"

"It's been difficult…classes are definitely much harder than they used to be. But I suppose they wouldn't be advanced classes if we didn't learn more difficult material," I replied, a small smile on my face.

"Well aren't you a smart cookie," George smirked.

"What is this new magic you were learning…appartition?" Mum asked me.

"Oh! Apparition. It's basically a method of transportation. You just focus on where you want to go, turn on the spot, and poof you're there!" I added with a snap.

Dad's face lit up. "That's really neat, Lily-flower. Can you show me after dinner?"

"Sure," I replied easily. I noticed that throughout this entire exchange, Petunia's face had gone from passive to quite digusted; it really looked as if she had just swallowed a lemon. Not wanting to give her yet another reason to hate me, I turned to her. "Have you decided what university you're going to be attending in the autumn, Tuney?"

Had it been just the two of us, I was almost certain she would have continued eating as if she had heard nothing. Since my parents were at the table, she had no choice but to acknowledge my presence, even if it was grudgingly. With a side glance at Dad, she answered while looking at a point slightly above my right shoulder. "I'm not going to the uni."

Shock was not an adequate word to describe what I felt. And apparently, this was the first time she had ever uttered this to any family member: Mum's eyes were wider than a toad's, George choked on his juice, and Dad froze.

Uh oh.

"What do you mean by that, Petunia?" Dad said in a voice of forced calm.

Not looking at him, she replied, "I mean that I will not be attending the university in the autumn."

"And what, pray tell, do you intend to do instead?" Mum asked, already anticipating an answer that was not going to please my dad.

Petunia shrugged. "Susan and I found a flat that we really liked in London, so we signed a lease for it. They're offering a typing course, so I signed up for that as well."

"A typing course. In London," Dad repeated, his voice losing some of its cool.

Idiot. She was really just digging her own grave. No child of Daniel Evans' gave up going to the university without a clear, sensible, and respectable alternative in mind. Especially if said alternative involved moving out of the house to attend a typing course.

Someone needed to bring a stretcher before Mum fainted. "And may I ask when you made these plans?" she asked Petunia, her lips barely moving.

"A few months ago now," Petunia answered in a slightly defiant tone.

"A few…" Mum repeated faintly. Really, if it came down to a paleness competition between her and the Hogwarts' ghosts, she would win.

"We will not continue to discuss this now," Dad said suddenly in an eerily calm voice. "Petunia. My study. After dinner. Alexandra, if you would join us too."

George and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Meeting Mum and Dad after dinner in the study was like a death sentence. I wondered if Petunia would prefer being buried or cremated.

The rest of dinner passed in relative (and rather awkward) silence. As soon as it was over, Mum instructed George and me to clear the table and wash the dishes, while she, Dad, and Petunia retired to the study.

Magic is a truly wondrous thing. A few flicks of my wand set the dishes to wash themselves, while George and I raced for the prime spying spot at the closed study door. After stepping on my toes, George won the key hole, and I had to listen at the crack at the bottom.

"…our agreement?" Dad was saying.

"And I did look into the university, but I just decided not to go," Petunia answered tersely.

"And why, love?" Mum asked in a soft voice.

"Because it isn't for me," Petunia replied curtly.

"Forget the typing course for a second. It still does not make clear why you intend to move out as well. You are not married and, to be frank, if it is merely the typing course you wish to take, you can commute to London. Many people in Goffs Oak do so, including myself," Dad countered.

"Well, I don't want to stay here anymore," Petunia said shortly.

Dad laughed mirthlessly. "You do not want to stay with your parents, who have provided you with everything you could possibly need and much more? In a home with a level of comfort much higher than you can ever get in your dingy London flat?"

"What's the point of staying in this mad house when no one even cares about anything you do?" Petunia said rudely.

_Smack._

George and I looked at each other, eyes wide. No one smart-mouthed either of my parents and got away with it.

"Do not _ever_ suggest that your father and I don't love you, Petunia," Mum growled.

"Well, you sure don't act like it!" Petunia snapped. It seemed she had been holding back her rage for a while. "Everything I do is worthless because George did it first or Lily did it better. All year, I have to hear you go on and on about how _wonderful_ George is or what a respectable man he's grown up to be. How he has _such_ a bright future, whether it be in academia or playing sports or in the military."

"Petunia…" Dad said threateningly.

Of course, she heeded him no attention. Clearly, she had a death wish, and wanted to get it all out before her demise. "And don't even get me started on your ravings about Lily. Every letter that she sends turns you all into the biggest Lily-worshippers ever. Lily this and Lily that. Do you not realize how _abnormal_ she is? She's a freak, and you're encouraging her association with a bunch of weirdos when she should be locked up in an asylum!"

"ENOUGH!" Dad bellowed, making the door to the study shake. That shut Petunia up. "Now, I haven't the faintest idea where you got all these delusions from, but do not ever insult your siblings in my presence ever again. I understand that you are now nineteen, Petunia, but we are still your parents and George and Lily are still your brother and sister. You should have consulted with us before making such a drastic decision on your own."

"You see what I mean?" Petunia cried hysterically. "This is about my moving out and you turn it into a story about how I'm the Big Bad Wolf of the Evans' siblings!"

"Come on, George, we should go," I whispered to George. I had heard enough, and frankly, I doubted I could take anymore.

George nodded silently, and the two of us made our way to the kitchen to check on the dishes. Once they were cleaned, we put them away and headed upstairs. The yelling from the study had ceased, but nobody had emerged yet. George and I parted ways on the landing and we each went to our own rooms.

Once inside my room, I shut the door and pulled out my pointe shoes from my trunk. It had been a few days since I had stretched properly and even longer since I had danced. I tied the ribbons up slowly, Petunia's words eating me from the inside.

Seeing as we were so close in age, Petunia and I had been quite attached in our younger years. Sure, we had our squabbles, but what siblings didn't? And when George went through a period of not wanting to hang out with his "icky baby sisters," our bond became stronger, a bond only strengthened when George went off to Eton.

As I stretched my splits, I realized that the beginning of the end came the summer after I turned eleven. That summer, I got an acceptance letter to both The Royal Ballet Lower School and Hogwarts. Petunia abruptly dropped out of ballet classes, and on Platform 9 ¾ she dubbed me a freak. So much for sisterly love.

I continued stretching and did a couple of pirouettes with nothing but my thoughts for company. I heard Petunia's door shut, but after all she had said about George and me, I really didn't want to talk to her. Instead I just curled up in bed and shut off the lights. It was a long time before sleep claimed me.


	5. With A Little Help from My Friends

_What would you think if I sang out of tune?_  
><em>Would you stand up and walk out on me?<em>  
><em>Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,<em>  
><em>And I'll try not to sing out of key.<em>  
><em>Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.<em>

_- "With A Little Help from My Friends," The Beatles_

* * *

><p>Small wildflowers brushed against my legs as I ran barefoot across the meadow. The wind blew through my hair, making whirl in every direction. The beams of the sun, with their unmatched warmth and beauty, hit my pale skin, and sweet, melodic laughter filled my ears. Ahead of me ran a small, black-haired boy, laughing with pure joy at the sun warming his face. When he turned to look at me, his hair blowing softly in the wind, I felt a rush of love for him, a need to care for him and protect him with every fiber of my being.<p>

"Lily."

I looked at the boy oddly. He had spoken without moving his lips at all.

"Lily, darling."

The meadow became hazier, as if I was seeing it through a light fog.

"Lily, it's nearly noon, it's time for you to get up."

Of course Mum would ruin a perfectly good dream for something as trivial as waking up.

I turned over to face her without opening my eyes. "Shh," I said, placing a finger to my lips, "it's sleepy time."

"Lily Alexandra Evans, you will get up right this instant. You've wasted your entire morning lazing around in bed. Up, up, up!" Clearly my mother enjoys torture, for she then crossed my room and opened the curtains wide, allowing the evil sun to hit me directly in the face.

"Gah, Mum! What is wrong with you?" I grabbed the covers and pulled them over my head. I sacrificed way too much sleep during term to deal with this crap.

Mum thought otherwise. She grabbed the covers and pulled them off so violently I was surprised they didn't rip. When I grabbed my pillow, she pulled it away so that my face landed with a thud on the mattress. My eyes opened blearily. So much for getting my beauty sleep.

"Oh, good, you're awake," Mum said. I just glared at her.

"Mum, why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour?" I asked her, still rubbing sleep from my eyes. The sandman must have paid me an extra visit or something.

"Darling, it's nearly midday, normal people are awake at this hour," she said with a small smile. "I need you to help me out downstairs; your grandmother is coming for tea this afternoon."

"Which one?" I asked, fearing the worst.

"Your Grandmum Evans," Mum replied wryly. "Please try to hold your tongue, Lily. Oh, and Sam's owl flew into the kitchen this morning," she added, pulling out a scroll of parchment from her pocket and handing it to me. "Your sister nearly spilled her tea, she was so frightened."

I rolled my eyes, imagining the scene. A smile at the thought of the owl hitting Petunia smack in the face. "Thanks, Mum. And I'll try to behave around Grandmum."

"You best bet you will," Mum said in a slightly threatening manner. "And what could Sam possibly be writing to you about? You two have been apart for less than 24 hours…"

"Probably some story about Sirius," I replied, not quite wanting to reveal the whole Potter deal. "Has anything come in the post from The Royal Ballet lately?"

"Not yet." Mum frowned slightly. "It'll probably come this week."

"I hope so," I said quietly. To say that I would be disappointed if I wasn't accepted to the International Summer School at The Royal Ballet would be an understatement. I attended last summer and absolutely loved it. Plus, it would boost my application if I chose to audition for the company after finishing at Hogwarts.

"Don't fret, little one," Mum sang, gathering me in a hug and tucking my hair behind my ear. "You just get ready and help your sister downstairs and your letter will come."

Lovely. Not only was I woken from my slumber, but I get to help Petunia, the cleaning master, clean in preparation for the arrival of the tyrant aka my grandmother.

I dragged myself out of bed and to the loo as Mum left the room. Looking into the mirror, I snorted: I looked a downright mess. Bless the soul of the man who chose to marry me.

Remembering Sam's letter, I untied it and read while I began to undress.

_LE,_

_Don't think I've forgotten about what I saw on the platform yesterday. I'm coming to your balcony tonight at 10. Be prepared to spill, or I'll have to resort to tickling._

_Your favorite person,_

_SP_

_PS. I'm dragging Roxanne with me. Jennifer is coming willingly…something about wanting to escape the Aberman clan._

I chuckled to myself softly. I truly had the most wonderful friends.

* * *

><p>Doing chores with Petunia was always a bore, but now that I was of age, it was highly amusing. Everything she cleaned, I followed up with a wave of my wand. Eventually, I freaked her out enough that she left me on my own. As she walked away, I vanished her duster. Mentally, I practiced my evil laugh.<p>

Magic made cleaning so much quicker, but it also meant I got sent to the market with George for some last minute shopping. And going to town meant…

"LILY!"

I stopped walking and turned to see Kelly Adamson grinning hugely at me.

"Kelly! How are you?" I greeted one of my oldest Muggle friends warmly. Kelly and I had gone to primary school together and we had been best friends before I went to Hogwarts.

"I'm doing well, and you? I didn't know you were back in town…are you just back for the holiday?" she asked me, giving me a hug.

"Yeah, I'm only back for Easter, but the summer hols aren't too far off," I smiled. "I can't chat for too long though…Grandmum Evans is coming for tea."

Kelly laughed. "Oh God, I hope she doesn't go off on how you will bring shame to the family. Is she still playing matchmaker?"

"She's trying to," I admitted with a small laugh. "Lost cause, though. I don't think dukes are really my type."

"Listen, Lily, on Friday we're having a party at McAvoy's place. You should come, it'll be fun!" Kelly told me with a smile.

"A party? On Good Friday? We're going to go to hell for this…" I laughed. Then again, I guess going to Hogwarts was damnation enough. "I'm in," I grinned.

"Brilliant!" she told me. "Invite Sam and George, too. And Delaney," she added with a wink.

I laughed. "Sure thing, love." I hugged her again. "I will be seeing you Friday!"

"Yes! Bye, Lily!"

"Bye, Kells!" I finished off my shopping, paid for my purchases, and walked out to the car, where George was waiting ("Shopping is for girls," he had told me).

"What kept you, young grasshopper?" he asked me as I settled myself in the passenger seat.

"Kelly Adamson," I replied easily. "There's a party at McAvoy's place on Friday and we're invited. She said to bring Delaney, too."

"You girls are obsessed with Del," George muttered darkly.

"What? He's cute!" I defended. Tall with midnight blue eyes and brown hair that fell elegantly in his eyes, Delaney Grant was George's best friend at Eton and Goffs Oak's biggest eye candy besides my brother. Since George was my brother, and incest is not the best, Delaney was my first serious crush. Sadly, it was one-sided. Shame. We would have cute babies…

"All the same," George said with a smile.

We drove back home, and I entertained George with a horribly off-key rendition of "Dancing Queen," my current favorite song.

Laughing, George rolled his eyes at me. "I don't understand why you force yourself to sing so terribly when you actually have a decent voice." His laughter faltered when we saw the car in the driveway: Grandmum.

"Oh, lovely," I sighed. I quickly patted down my dress and let my hair out of its ponytail while George attempted to fix his bed-head hair. When we were decent enough (by Grandmum's standards), we got out of the car and headed in.

"We're home!" George called from the foyer.

"Now, George, it is not appropriate for you to yell into the house. This is not a barn," Grandmum admonished, meeting us in the foyer. She gave us both a once over, nodded in approval, and then helped us with the bags.

Obviously she wouldn't help us unless we passed her test.

"Lily, you're looking quite lovely but that dress is far too low-cut," she scolded me once we reached the kitchen.

"Just because it isn't a turtleneck, Grandmum…" I started.

"Do not use that tone with me, young lady," she said, a slight frown appearing on her forehead.

Someone Avada Kedavra me now.

* * *

><p>The best thing that could be said about Grandmum's visit was that she wasn't staying overnight.<p>

Throughout the course of her time at our house, she managed to chastise Dad for "advocating Lily's quirks," tell George that he was a fool for considering the Royal Navy instead of the RAF, criticize Petunia's decision to leave her "life of privilege and moral uprightness" for the "depraved" city of London, and insinuate that I would never find a husband unless my breasts grew larger.

Charming woman, really.

Ten o'clock approached and I was in my room stretching slowly, waiting for my friends to arrive. There was something so intensely satisfying about a good stretch, and I admonished myself for having neglected it this past term.

"Oi, Margot Fonteyn, open up, my beauty is wasting away out here," Sam called from my balcony.

Laughing, I picked myself up and crossed the room to open the door to my balcony. There stood my three best friends: Jenny in sweats with her dark hair pulled up in what I termed her Quidditch ponytail; Roxy, her blonde hair disheveled, wearing her pajamas; and Sam, wearing jeans that probably cut off all the oxygen to her lower half and a shirt three sizes too big.

"My, my, it seems I forgot to don my evening gown," I said amusedly, looking pointedly at Roxy.

"Oh, shut up," Roxy said irritably, crossing into my room and flinging herself onto my bed. "Someone sent an Aguamenti charm at me to wake me up." She glared at Sam.

"Well, it's not my fault you sleep like a rock," Sam said, trying desperately to hold in her laughter.

"How have your breaks been so far?" I interrupted before Roxy could retort.

"Terrible," Jenny said, wrinkling her nose. "We all decided to play Quidditch this afternoon and Jack accidentally hit Jessica on the nose. Jeff tried to heal it, but it just made the blood go everywhere and Jane freaked out and fell off her broom."

"Oh my gosh, poor Jess," Roxy said sympathetically.

"She deserved it," Jenny replied darkly. "She's gone mad. All she does is talk about the wedding. Any suggestion you make and BAM she accuses you of trying to sabotage her day. Jane complained about the bridemaids having to wear pink and Jess accused her of trying to overshadow her. I reckon Jack hit her on purpose, or at least on Jane's orders."

"Planning a wedding is hard work, though!" Roxy cried. "I know I'll probably go crazy, too, if and when my day comes."

"If you make me wear pink, friendship revoked," I told her, twirling a strand of my hair.

"I wouldn't. I'll make you wear green; Potter loves it when you do," Roxy smirked.

I glared at her and Jenny looked confusedly between the two of us. "Ok, obviously I'm missing something. What about James?" she asked, looking at Roxy.

"Only that Lily was making gooey eyes at him on the platform," Sam sniggered.

"I was not. He was helping me with my trunk!" I cried.

"Right. And your eyes just happened to settle on his biceps," Roxy said sarcastically.

"His rather well-built biceps," Sam added, grinning evilly.

Jenny's eyes widened. "Little Lilykins was checking out James Potter, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and the bane of our existence?"

"Do not even try to deny it," Sam said anticipating my answer. "You know you were, and don't give me that 'I have a boyfriend' bullshit."

"All right, all right," I conceded. "I will admit I checked out his arms and that they were…um…"

"Quite nice?" Jenny finished, smirking at me.

I nodded curtly, not wanting to continue the conversation.

Roxy seemed to have picked up on my desire. "All right, changing the subject to you and Adam. What's the deal there?"

I frowned, remembering the issue I had put to the back of my mind. "I don't really know." I swallowed, trying to find the right words. "I care about Adam, a lot actually. And I know we've been together for a bit, but I just don't feel like I'm in love with him. It just doesn't feel like it did last time."

Roxy grabbed my hand and squeezed it while I sat next to her on the bed. "You can't expect to find what you had with Ryan in every relationship, Lily."

I nodded and was horrified to find a lump rising in my throat. "I know that."

"Then you need to stop comparing every guy you date to that douche bag," Sam said disgustedly. "You'll never truly move on until you do."

"I know, and I'm trying, but that's not it. What about the future? What's going to happen after Adam leaves Hogwarts? I highly doubt we're going to last after he finishes school…"

"You have to talk to him about it, Lils," Jenny told me, twirling her hair around her finger. "You both need to know where you stand on the whole issue, and go from there."

"Jenny's right, Lily," Roxy said, braiding a lock of my hair. "Just talk to Adam when the two of you go back to school. Work something out, but I'll tell you straight up that if both of you aren't willing to make it work, it won't."

"All right," I sighed. Talking to my friends always helped me in figuring out my life.

"And on to happier news, guess who got a new piercing?" Sam asked, grinning.

"You still have room for another piercing?" Roxy asked in mock shock.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sam said, throwing a lewd wink at Roxy who just rolled her eyes at her. "I got a belly piercing, wanna see?" She didn't even wait for a response before pulling up her shirt to show us. Really, if any of us could pull of multiple piercings and look like a rebel rather than a trashy whore, it was Sam.

"So what is this, number 357?" Jenny asked amusedly.

"Actually, it's lucky number 13," Sam said, poking her new piercing slightly. "It's my gift to myself for turning 17."

"I wonder if the fact that it's number 13 means your navel will fall off," Jenny told her, smirking.

"Don't even joke, Jenny," Sam said, looking horrified at the idea. "Sirius likes it."

"Ah, I was wondering when the story of your overly large shirt would come up," I told her.

Sam had the decency to blush. "He came over for a bit while my mum was out this morning. No sex!" she added hurriedly at the sight of Roxy's face. "Still in my moratorium."

"You and Sirius are just something else," Jenny said, shaking her head. "You're like the same person."

"How so?" Sam asked warily.

"Rebellious," Jenny said.

"Attractive," I added.

"And incredibly horny individuals," Roxy finished.

"Jealous bitches," Sam said, smiling at us. "You know you love us."

"Well, I will admit that it makes me happy to see you happy," Roxy said with a small smile.

"If he puts one toe out of line though," Jenny started, looking slightly menacing.

"We will string him by his toes and castrate him," I finished, laughing at Sam's face.

After a few minutes of more ridiculous banter, Roxy declared that she really needed to get back to her beauty sleep.

"Oh, you are such a fun sucker, Roxanne," Sam pouted.

Roxy rolled her eyes. They would probably roll right out of her head one of these days, I swear. "Come on, Samantha," she said, "someone has to be responsible and make sure you sleep."

I bade the girls good night, and then the three of them apparated off of my balcony back to their homes: Sam's in central London, Jenny's on the outskirts of Leeds, and Roxy's in Ottery St. Catchpole. I skipped happily to the loo to wash my face and brush my hair before bed. Once I was done, I went back to my room and settled to sleep, my mind much more settled than it had been for a few days.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I apologize for the delay in updating! Pottermore and move-in have really consumed my time, plus I had to rewrite a section of this chapter again because it was just plain terrible. A few things: (1) Thank you so much to all of you who have either favorited this story or reviewed! It really means so much to me, and it keeps me on my toes :) (2) Now that my Pottermore account is open, I will try to incorporate the new information on the site into the story. That's where I got the Petunia moving out story line, actually. (3) I will try to put out another chapter before classes start. Till then, happy reading! :)**


	6. Fashion

_Fashion, put it all on me_  
><em>Don't you want to see these clothes on me<em>  
><em>Fashion, put it all on me<em>  
><em>I am anyone you want me to be<em>

_- "Fashion," Lady Gaga_

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed rather slowly. George and Petunia had gotten into another spat after George came into the house all muddy after a rugby game; Mum had her annual garden tea party with all the other ladies in the neighborhood; and Dad was back in military man mode. In short, all was normal in the Evans household. We were the picture-perfect family (minus the whole secret witch daughter thing).<p>

Wednesdays were a rather boring day, in my opinion: flat in the middle of the week, too far from both the Monday morning dread and the weekend fun. I sat in the neighborhood park, swinging slowly as a light breeze played softly with my hair. The smell of spring was fresh in the air and the sun warmed my skin, bringing to mind a spring day nearly seven years ago, when Severus and I used to play on the swings together. I shook that thought away before I got too worked up about it, and instead unrolled the parchment in my hand.

_Dear Lily,_

_I know you must think me a terrible boyfriend for not writing you until now. The library and I are the best of friends, and I probably spend more time here than in my own bed. N.E.W.T.s are going to be the death of me, I tell you._

_How is home? I expect you are spending every waking moment with Petunia and showing her all of the wondrous defense spells you've learned. If she does anything particularly nasty, you could always threaten her with a good old Bat-Bogey Hex. Bogeys aren't becoming of anyone, really._

_I miss you, Lils. I can't wait to see you again._

_Love,_

_Adam_

Adam really was a great guy, there was no denying that. But his addition of the word love at the end of the letter left me again with that slight unease. I still hadn't returned the sentiment, and I was beginning to wonder how long he would be willing to wait until I did.

* * *

><p>Friday morning, I was rudely awoken from my slumber when Jenny apparated on my legs.<p>

"Jennifer!" I cried indignantly. "Normal people are trying to sleep."

She smirked at me. Bitch. "Normal people? Lily, you do realize it's past noon, right?"

"Yeah, so? I'm on holiday," I grumbled, pulling the sheets over my head.

"Oh no, you don't!" she cried, pulling the sheets down. "Sam is apparently having a crisis and demands we come over." She frowned, looking slightly worried.

I jolted at that. "A crisis? Does it have anything to do with Black?"

"If it does, I'll castrate him," Jenny replied solemnly.

I jumped out of bed and proceeded to trip over some stray jeans on the floor in my hurry to the loo.

Jenny sniggered. "Smooth, Grace."

"Oh, shut up." I walked into the bathroom I shared with Petunia to find her already up and setting curls in her hair. She wrinkled her nose at my reflection as I began to undress.

Good morning to you, too, dear sister.

I gave a small yelp as the cold water hit my skin, causing it to erupt in goose pimples. I showered quite quickly and ran back into my room, tripping over the pumps I wore to Mum's tea party.

"I hope you're not going to drip dry today," Jenny told me, raising her eyebrow at me.

I smirked. "You know you love it," I laughed.

She shuddered. "I still do not understand why you find such pleasure in walking around either naked or in your knickers. Your future husband is going to love you."

"Clothing is so restrictive," I said solemnly, then burst into giggles when I saw the look on her face.

I chose a white blouse and some jeans and didn't even bother brushing my hair. Jenny and I stepped out onto my balcony and apparated over to London.

Once we had appeared in the alleyway we normally apparated to, we began the trek to the Parker's flat. It was only then that I noticed Jenny was walking rather gingerly, as if every step hurt her muscles.

"What's up with you?" I asked her, staring pointedly at her legs.

"I was attempting to do a grand jeté to perfect my Lily Evans imitation," she responded sarcastically.

"Ha ha," I said drily, waiting for her to respond.

"James bloody Potter, Quidditch Captain extraordinaire," she replied sourly, "decided that we, as in the entire bloody Gryffindor team, need to work on our overall fitness to fly better. He came over to our place at the crack of dawn and forced us to go out on a run with him."

"What's wrong with running?" I asked, slightly defensive. While I knew running was not everyone's cup of tea, there was something incredibly relaxing about forgetting everything in life and concentrating solely on moving forward. It was much of the same escape method I found in ballet.

"Nothing's wrong with running, unless you're forced to keep up with James, who runs way faster than the rest of us. And the crack of dawn? Really, I do think his obsession has reached a new level."

James' obsession with Quidditch was well-known throughout the school. He often went to extreme measures in ensuring his team stayed fit and was even known for scheduling some practices over the summer.

I smirked. "I'm sure Janie was ecstatic."

"She tripped him on our way back to the house," Jenny said evilly. "No one wakes up Jane Aberman from her beauty sleep and gets away with it. Jack is also plotting revenge…something involving mutilation."

"Please tell him to add Sirius to his hit list," I told her, smirking slightly.

"And deny us the chance of hearing yet another sexy bedtime story from Sam? Never," she replied with a lewd wink.

Within a few minutes, we had arrived at our destination. We took the lift up to the ninth floor and then proceeded to walk to the flat we needed. Jenny knocked and took a step back.

A smiling face greeted us as the door swung open. "Why, hello, hello," Dana Parker greeted us. "I'm surprised to see you up so early, Lily. Nice work, Jenny."

"I know, I'm terribly skilled," Jenny said, smirking at me.

"Come on in, Roxy is already in Sam's room," Mrs. Parker said, letting us into the flat. In many ways, it was the polar opposite to my own home. Whereas Goffs Oak was rural and picturesque, Sam lived in the middle of bustling London, a place teeming with life and excitement. Home for me meant a spacious, five-bedroom home; Sam's place was significantly smaller, with just two bedrooms, but it still had that undeniable air of coziness and warmth. It was the type of place my grandmother would scorn, but I loved it.

We walked into Sam's room, where I was assaulted by Roxy's fierce hug.

"Oh, it's so great to see you," she said, turning from me to Jenny with a huge grin on her face.

"Especially since it's been oh so long since you've seen me," I replied drily. Really, while Roxy always chided Sam for her flair for the dramatics, sometimes they were about equal.

"So what's the crisis?" Jenny asked, raising her eyebrow at the large pile of clothes on Sam's bed.

"I don't know what to wear," Sam whined, flinging her arms up and down and tugging on her hair.

Forget Roxy's flair for the dramatics. Sam would always find a way to one up her. "Are you serious, Samantha?" I asked her incredulously. "And don't you dare make a serious/Sirius joke."

She smirked. "I'll contain myself just this once. But in all honesty, I need your help. I invited Sirius to come with me to the party tonight, but I'm completely stumped on what to wear."

"What's the point of spending so much time worrying about your outfit when it's only going to be tossed aside anyway?" Jenny asked her.

"Sex moratorium. Or at least, I hope that's still going on," Roxy said, closing her eyes and shuddering slightly.

Sam scowled. "It is, but my SFS is getting to me."

"SFS?" Jenny and I asked curiously.

"I don't think I even _want_ to know," Roxy said warily.

"Sexual Frustration Syndrome," Sam replied confidently, while Jenny roared with laughter and Roxy shut her eyes tightly in horror. "When I go an extended period without having sex, I get frustrated. Normally I don't let it get too extreme or it starts addling with my brains, but this moratorium has made it go on way longer than my hormonal self can handle."

"I was right…I didn't want to know," Roxy said, sitting on Sam's bed.

"'Addling with your brains'?" I repeated, trying and failing to contain my laughter. "You are a lot hornier than I thought."

"What? Sirius is attractive, and so am I, and we both like sex," Sam said innocently while diving yet again into her closet to search for a suitable dress. She pulled out a sequined white dress and held up to herself. "What about this?"

"Too virginal," Jenny replied immediately. "Besides, I've always thought red was more your color ever since you dyed your hair."

"See, this is why I needed you guys. Because clearly _some_ people are no help whatsoever," Sam said, staring pointedly at Roxy, who did not even flinch. Instead, she smiled widely and began twirling a strand of her hair.

"How long do you intend to keep the moratorium up?" I asked Sam. It was a miracle in itself that she had gone nearly four months without any sex whatsoever. There was a random hook-up over the winter holidays, but for the most part, Sam had definitely toned it down.

"Not much longer, I expect. Unless Mother Teresa over here forces me to wear a legit chastity belt," Sam said, with a nod at Roxy.

Jenny looked confusedly at the two of us. "Mother who?"

"It's a Muggle thing," I told her. My attention was then drawn to Roxy, who was humming softly while playing with her hair. She looked happier than a little girl at Christmas.

Jenny seemed to have noticed Roxy's odd behavior as well. "Oi, Blondie, what's got you all cheerful? You look like you could poop butterflies and rainbows."

"Was that really necessary?" I sighed exasperatedly at Jenny.

Roxy looked at us. It appeared she was in a bit of a daze…surely she hadn't decided to try LSD?

"Yeah, because it's kind of annoying," Jenny said to me while staring at Roxy with a look of disgust.

"You slept with Edgar, didn't you?" Sam piped up suddenly. The reactions to this statement were, in retrospect, quite hysterical: Jenny choked on air, Roxy promptly fell off the bed, and I, predictably, tripped over one of Sam's discarded dresses.

"How did you know?" Roxy asked, stunned, while rubbing her backside.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Sam said, as if explaining that two plus two was four. When she was met with three blank stares, she sighed. "Really, you lot are hopeless. Girls only get that dreamy look on their faces when they're thinking about a guy. So that makes it obvious that Roxy baby is thinking about Edgar, unless there's a new man on the radar, which is highly unlikely." After a brief nod from Roxy, Sam continued, "Right. So obviously she's thinking about Edgar. She can't have that look on her face because he confessed his attraction to her because they passed that step ages ago. Same with the initial date, first kiss, first time saying 'I love you.' So the next logical step for the ultra-traditional romantic here would be either a proposal or sex. Seeing as I don't see a rock on that finger, it's obviously sex."

Stunned silence greeted her words. Sam was quite impressive, I had to admit. While she had never been in a "traditional" relationship (sex usually came before dating in her case), she really knew her stuff.

Jenny recovered first. She threw a stray pillow at Roxy. "Why didn't you _say_ something? How was it?"

Roxy, ever the hopeless romantic, got all dreamy once again. "So wonderful."

"What happened?" Sam asked, as all of us sat around Roxy. After noticing my smirk, Sam rolled her eyes. "Not like that, dunderhead."

"Well, we went out for ice cream at Diagon Alley, and then we went back to his place. His parents weren't home" (Sam snorted loudly) "and then it kinda went from there. It just felt right, and to be honest I can't picture my life without Edgar."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "Not scolding you for it. Just slightly surprised. I'm happy you're happy, Rox."

She smiled at me. "I _did_ intend to tell you guys, I just needed to process it first."

"Two down, two more to go," Sam said, staring pointedly at Jenny and me.

"Ethan and I got close, but I just didn't feel comfortable with it," Jenny said, a slight crease appearing between her eyes.

"Don't do it unless you're sure. You can't take it back after you do," Sam said solemnly. Her initial encounter with Tristan Wetherby hung thick in the air.

"So, now that you have a dress picked out, I can leave right? Lily and I need to get ready for our hot date tonight," Jenny said to break the tension, with a wink at me.

"Yeah, Jenny's my date tonight," I told Roxy, who had been looking slightly confused.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just leave," Sam said, pushing the three of us out of her room. "Don't get too scandalous, ladies. And Roxanne, you really should consider not being a party pooper and come out tonight."

Roxy shrugged. "I'll think about it, but it isn't very likely."

I waved goodbye to my friends and apparated back to the front gates of my house. I made my way back inside, only to be met with yet another fight between George and Petunia.

"I don't understand why you're throwing everything away for something as stupid as sibling rivalry," George told her harshly.

"It's not sibling rivalry, George," Petunia spat back. "I want to go out and make my own life. Staying here means Mum and Dad will just want to mold me into the female version of you."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

Petunia laughed mirthlessly. "Oh really? The only things our parents seem to value are upholders of the values of high society and freakish abilities."

"You know perfectly well that Mum and Dad have never cared about our social standing. Dad says it all the time: you can't help the family you were born into."

"I don't want to associate with any of you more than necessary."

They hadn't noticed me, so I quietly made me way to the kitchen, grasping the kitchen counter for support. I couldn't pretend that Petunia's words didn't hurt. As foolish as it was, I still maintained a small hope that one day things would be repaired between us. That day had never seemed farther away than it did at that moment.

"Lily love, there you are," Mum said with a rather forced smile. She hated it when we bickered but it seemed she had finally realized that there wasn't much she could do about it. After all, both George and Petunia were technically adults now, no matter how much they didn't act the part.

"Yeah, Sam needed help with something, so Jenny woke me up to come get me," I replied easily, trying to block out the distant sound of George and Petunia's spat.

"Oh? Is she all right?" Mum asked, concern etched on her face.

I smiled. "Yeah, she just needed some advice on what to wear tonight."

"Oh, I had forgotten about that. You are going then?"

"Seems so. George was invited, too."

Mum smiled kindly. "It's so nice that you're still friends with your friends from primary school, and that you can spend time with your brother."

"It would feel weird to shut them out of my life. They…" I trailed off, not wanting to upset Mum further.

Of course, she noticed. "They what, Lily?"

Damn. I swallowed slowly. "They make me feel normal," I admitted softly.

"You _are_ normal, Lily. You are normal, but with talents that are unlike those of others. Don't ever think of yourself as abnormal," Mum said softly, stroking my hair.

I felt the tears prickling behind my eyes. Mum gathered me in for a hug, and I was suddenly enveloped by the sweet smell of daisies in the springtime. My mother drove me absolutely nuts sometimes, but it was moments like this where I realized that I didn't quite know what I would do if I were to lose her.

"Cheer up, buttercup," she said to me, holding me at arms' length. "I have something for you."

I looked at her questioningly. She reached into her dress pocket and pulled out an envelope.

My heart stopped. All thoughts of Petunia and George were pushed to the back of my mind. I recognized that address.

I . Could. Not. Breathe.

I was going to die from lack of oxygen and never get to actually open the letter.

"Staring at letter won't make it actually open, Lily," Mum said with amusement in her voice.

Silently, I took the letter from her hand. My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely get the envelope to open. Once it did, I took a deep breath before starting to read.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to The Royal Ballet School's International Summer School in the senior division. _

_This is a very prestigious honor, as the Royal Ballet School is one of the leading ballet schools in the world. Over the course of two weeks, you will be under the instruction of some of the finest dancers in the world. You will have the opportunity to both further your ballet technique as well as widen your repertoire to include a larger variety of dance styles._

_Financial information and general coursework for the program can be found on the subsequent pages._

_Please notify the School of your acceptance by 31 April. We look forward to seeing you this summer._

_Regards,_

_Margaret Ronson_

_Director, Royal Ballet School_

I had to run back to my room and give the dance gods the praise they deserved. I looked up at Mum and couldn't help the grin spreading over my face. She clapped her hands excitedly and embraced me.

I was so incredibly happy. I was going to be studying ballet intensively for two weeks over the summer at the best ballet school in the country. It truly was such an amazing day.

Oh, how very wrong that statement would turn out to be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am SO sorry for the delay in updating, but literature classes have essentially consumed my life, as well as recruitment. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or favorited this story...you have no idea how happy that makes me :) I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but it will include some Lily/James interaction, and someone from Lily's past will also make an appearance. Love you all so much, and happy reading!**


	7. Jar of Hearts

**Things I own: a nutcracker, a Spanish-English dictionary, some pretzels. Things I do not own: HP and any characters you recognize.**

_"It took so long just to feel all right_  
><em>Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.<em>  
><em>I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,<em>  
><em>'Cause you broke all your promises."<em>

_- "Jar of Hearts," Christina Perri_

* * *

><p>Being a girl really was a hassle.<p>

Going to a party meant that everyone had to look presentable; that much was obvious. But for a girl, this included hair, makeup, wardrobe, the whole nine yards. Really, so much preparation when by the end of the night, I looked a mess anyway.

I finished up Jenny's makeup and walked over to my vanity, looking for a headband that would match my black and white dress.

"Nice job, Lilykins," Jenny said while inspecting herself in the mirror. She fixed her hair, which had the most beautiful natural waves. It really made me jealous: my hair was pin-straight.

"Stage make-up has given me practice over the years," I answered back easily, adjusting the bow on the headband I had chosen while slipping on a pair of black pumps. "How do I look?"

Jenny looked over and inspected my outfit, giving me a thumbs up. "Glam, Lilykins. How about me?" She twirled around rather extravagantly, ensuring that her skirt flared out.

I laughed at her antics. Jenny was probably the least girly out of the four of us: she was always much more athletic and a bit of a tomboy thanks to her Jeff, her older brother. In fifth year, though, the commentator mentioned (for the entire school to hear) how toned her legs were. She had given up knee socks and had altered her skirts ever since. "Fabulous as usual. Your beanpoles look great," I told her.

"Seems those squats have been working then," she answered happily. She looked at her watch and frowned slightly. "We should probably get going soon, it's nearly eight."

"Right, let's go then." I grabbed my purse from the top of my dresser and we made our way downstairs, where George was waiting for us in the foyer.

"Are we driving? Because I don't think it would be wise of us to drive if we…you know…" he trailed off, not wanting to say anything too crazy in case Dad was lurking around.

"I can charm the car to drive us back, but we can walk, too. It's not very far," I replied easily, starting to head out. Jenny followed me.

"It's at McAvoy's place, right?" George asked me.

"Yeah, so it's just at the other end of the street."

"All right, I guess we can walk. Besides, I'll be around so the two of you won't be kidnapped," George smirked. "Looking good, both of you. Who are you trying to impress, Alecky?"

"I'm just naturally stunning," I shot back.

"I've always wondered," Jenny cut in, looking slightly confused, "George, why do you call Lily 'Alecky'?"

George laughed. "When Lily was younger, she could pronounce her _x_ properly, so she used to tell people that her middle name was Alecksandra rather than Alexandra. It just kind of stuck."

"What if I called you Alecky?" Jenny asked me, a slight smirk appearing on her face.

"Do not even dare. George is the only one allowed to do it," I told her. I didn't particularly hate my middle name (I couldn't…it was my mother's name), but it definitely was not my favorite name in the world. The less people knew, the happier my existence would be. "By the way, what's our curfew?"

George grinned evilly. "Technically, midnight."

"What do you mean 'technically'?" Jenny asked, anticipating my question.

"Well, I'm a guy, so it doesn't matter for me. The issue is more you two, but seeing as you two are both skilled in ways I am not, I'm sure you can figure something out," he replied.

"Fair enough," Jenny said.

We eventually made it to Robbie McAvoy's house, where the party was already in full swing. Almost immediately, we were assaulted by some of our friends from primary school, some whom I hadn't seen in quite a while.

"George! Lily!" I looked to my left and found myself enveloped in a bear hug from one of my oldest friends and my next-door neighbour, Adrian Marsden.

"Why, hello, Adrian," I said, grinning hugely at him. I would save the berating about cutting my oxygen for later.

"Long time, no see, Lilykins!" he told me, passing Jenny and me a mimosa and proceeding to shake George's hand. "You're Jenny, right? Hard to forget you."

Jenny blushed slightly. The first time they had met last summer, the sparks between them had been undeniable. Nothing had come out of it, and now that Jenny was with Ethan, it was highly unlikely something would occur tonight, unless Sam had managed to corrupt her mind. "Yeah," she answered slowly, nodding.

"Sam's already here with her new boyfriend and his friend." Adrian nodded towards his left, and I could see Sam in the distance, looking ravishing in her red dress. If Sam wasn't one of my best friends, it was quite possibly that we would hate each other. My red hair was a major curse, particularly when it came to clothing or beach days.

Whoa, freeze. Her new boyfriend and…

"His friend?" Jenny asked sharply. "Who?"

"Some bloke named James. He seems really cool though, plan on continuing to converse with him after I finish the general greeting rounds. Catch you guys later, yeah?" With that, Adrian gave us a wink and continued to the next group of people. Little mister social butterfly.

Jenny and I looked at each other, slightly stricken. My life, it seems, had been plotting against me. Lovely.

George led the way over to Sam, who was standing beside Sirius and the one and only James Potter.

"Well, Sam, I must say you do clean up decently," George told her, smirking.

"Yeah, you're not looking too shabby yourself. Almost as good as a roach," she retorted.

"Such a charming young girl. And you must be Sam's boyfriend," George said addressing Sirius and holding out his hand.

"The one and only Sirius Black. You are…?"

"George Evans. Good meeting you, but if you hurt Sam, I'll have to hurt you as well. Part of the whole 'little sister's best friend's protection' agreement."

"Understandable, I suppose," Black replied, looking rather defiant. "I didn't know you had a brother, Evans. Guess I'll have to be more careful when it comes to pranking you."

"Good to see you, too, Black," I retorted drily. Where did this boy learn his manners? Oh, right, he never did.

"And you are…?" George asked, turning to James.

"James Potter," Potter replied, shaking George's hand and smirking as usual. One day, his face was going to get stuck like that. Oh, his poor fan club would be devastated…

"I've heard of you before," George said thoughtfully.

"Oh?" Potter inquired, with the smallest of glances in my direction.

A panic began to rise in my stomach. Would George be cruel enough to divulge that I brought Potter up in conversations before? That would just give him ideas and inflate his already overly large head.

Might as well start digging my grave now.

Apparently, though, I severely underestimated George's familial loyalties. "Yeah, you're Jenny's Captain correct?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Sam noticed and proceeded to laugh while taking a sip from her mimosa. She then promptly choked.

Karma's a bitch.

Potter looked a little put-out by George's response. Served him right, getting ideas like that. "Oh, yeah, I play Quidditch with her," he recovered quickly.

"So, uh, James," George responded in a low voice, sneaking a glance at those surrounding us. "How exactly do you play Quidditch? I play rugby and football, see, and when Lily explains it, it sounds rather fascinating."

"What's rugby?" asked Black, Potter, and Jenny in unison. Oh, little naïve purebloods.

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh hell no, we are not going into a discussion on sports," she said, looking horrified at the very idea.

"_We_ are," Potter replied easily, pointing at Black, Jenny, George, and himself. "You two are welcome to listen."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Sam answered hotly.

"Well, your flying skills aren't exactly the greatest, Parker," he said calmly.

Even though her glare was directed at Potter, it scared me to no end. Clearly, Potter did not know that she had once punched (and broken) Claudia Wallace's nose after she had seen her with the guy she was dating at the time. By accident, of course.

Potter, however, did not look disturb in the slightest. Prick.

"Come on, Lily," Sam said, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the group.

"Where are we going?" I asked her, slightly scared for my well-being.

"To get piss drunk," she answered, flashing me a grin. "There are martinis inside the house."

"Shaken or stirred?" I wondered aloud. Sam chuckled.

The inside of the house was crowded enough to give anyone claustrophobia, a feeling that only intensified when some of my old Muggle friends starting coming up to greet us.

"Lookin' good, ladies!"

"Cute shoes, Lily! Where'd you get them?"

"Sam, your hair looks amazing!"

"We are just _so_ popular!" Sam said to me, rolling her eyes and then making a gagging noise. She grabbed two martinis from the bar and passed one to me. There was something immensely satisfying in a martini.

"It seems Black's arrogance has been rubbing off on you. Next thing you know, you'll be pulling pranks on unsuspecting first-years," I told her with a smirk.

"Negative. I much prefer pranking the Marauders themselves…or you lot," she said with a wink.

A slight panic overtook me. "Please don't even think about telling Black that we were responsible for the Charms incident of 1974."

"Are you mad? It was our best prank ever and they never once suspected it was us! We'll have to pull another one soon, I've been itching to do something evil," Sam said with a manic glint in her eye.

"We'll plan something when we get back, then unleash it on the next person on our hit list." I lifted my glass in a toast, and we proceeded to down the rest of our drinks in one go.

"Why are we toasting? We haven't actually carried the prank through," Sam said, looking at her glass rather sadly.

I grinned widely. "How about we celebrate letters from the Royal Ballet School?"

Sam's eyes were as wide as Galleons. "You jest, Lily Evans."

"That I do not," I told her whilst shaking my head.

"Oh God, Lily! Congratulations!" she squealed, enveloping me in a hug. "Why didn't you say something? We have to celebrate. Shots, we need shots."

Of course, Sam would turn to alcohol in moments of extreme happiness or extreme sadness.

"What are we celebrating?" said a rather arrogant voice from behind me. I turned to see Black and Potter approaching, both having finished their mimosas.

"Lily got into the Royal Ballet School's summer program!" Sam said, as if that explained everything. "Where are Jenny and George?"

"Jenny's off dancing and George is with some girl… Alina? Allison? Something along those lines. So what's the big deal?" Black said, confusion evident in his features.

"You dance ballet, Evans?" Potter said, looking at me.

"Yeah, I've been dancing since I was little," I told him.

"Wow, how did you manage to keep that piece of information from Prongsie for so long?" Black said with a smirk.

"It's not like I go prancing around the halls at school in a tutu, Black," I retorted.

"Why don't you? You're good at it, aren't you? It's always good to show off your skills. I do it all the time," Black responded with a grin.

"Yeah, and since my life's ambition is to be _just_ like you…" I told him sarcastically.

"No need to get testy, Evans," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, "just trying to get you to use your potential. Plus, I heard ballerinas are flexible."

Sam sniggered when she saw my blush. Some friend.

"Sorry, no dirty jokes around perfect Prefect Evans," Black said, crossing his heart and holding up his right hand. "By the way, quite astounded that you drink, Evans. I daresay you might actually be semi-normal."

"Just bring on the shots. I need something stronger than this thing," Potter said, pointing at his glass.

"Do you not like mimosas?" I asked him.

"Too fruity. Is this what Muggles normally drink?"

"Not necessarily. What, were you expecting firewhiskey?"

He smirked. "Obviously not, Evans. These are Muggles. Although I should have brought some with me."

I rolled my eyes. "You would, Potter. And you would probably use illegal means to obtain it."

"You know me so well."

We all take a series of shots in rather quick succession. I normally was not a heavy drinker, but I was just too excited but the RBS to stop and consider what I was doing. Eventually, Sam and Black disappeared, (probably to sneak into a room for a quick snog) so Potter and I continued with our shots.

"So, how did you come to be here?" I asked him, the buzz definitely settling in.

"Simple. Sirius didn't want to come alone," he replied easily, a slight flush in his cheeks.

"He wouldn't be alone, he'd be with Sam."

"In a house full of Muggles."

"Have you two never been to a Muggle party before?" I asked him. Even though both of them were purebloods, they had often spoken at great lengths about unsuspecting Muggle girls who were "entranced by their good looks." Pathetic.

"We've been to one before," Potter said, "but the one we went to wasn't nearly as wild as this."

He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, as if more had happened at that party then he let on. Curious…

"Most of this lot went to my primary school. The ones that didn't are friends of friends," I told him, gesturing around the room.

"Like Sirius and I?" he asked me with his signature smirk.

"I wouldn't really call us friends, Potter," I told him, frowning slightly. "You're Jenny's teammate, and your best friend is dating my best friend. That's about it."

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it messier than usual. Someone should seriously consider buying this boy a comb. "Listen, Evans," he started a little hesitantly, as if scared I might spontaneously combust. "I know we haven't exactly been on the best of terms, and I have been a bit of an arse the past few years, but maybe we can call a truce? Maybe not friends right away, since that takes time, but acquaintances, maybe?"

A bit of an arse? Understatement of the year.

I really wanted to say no: he had bullied so many people (including me) over the years and basically prompted the ending of my friendship with Severus (not that it wasn't already doomed, but it made me feel better to have Potter as a scapegoat). Yet there was something so hopeful in his voice, and all of a sudden, Roxy's words came back to me: _he's not as much of a prat as he used to be_.

Of course, my mouth decided to run off before my brain had finished thinking. "All right, Potter," I heard myself say, sticking my hand out for a handshake. "Truce."

"Truce," he said happily, shaking my hand before giving me a genuine smile.

And then it happened. There was a swoop in my stomach that had nothing to do with all the alcohol that I had consumed, and a slight tingling in my hand where Potter had touched it.

Uh oh.

* * *

><p>The party continued well into the night. After my (probably unwise) agreement with Potter, we had chatted for a bit longer before going our separate ways: he went to look for Black, I decided to mingle with some of my old Muggle friends.<p>

As the night wore on, Jenny and I found ourselves dancing on a tabletop with Kelly Adamson, Nathan Crisp, and Adrian Marsden.

Perfect Prefect Evans. Ha.

Someone had found an ABBA record. Obviously I had a death wish: dancing to ABBA, on a table, in pumps, not sober.

It was a miracle my bones were still intact.

When the song switched to something a little slower, I looked down at my watch to find that it seemed as if it was about to be midnight (or maybe one? Eleven? Not quite sure…). I grabbed Adrian, who was dancing right behind me, by the arm.

"Lily love, I knew we had chemistry," he said jokingly, the flush evident on his face.

"You're my on true love, Adrian," I said in a voice that my sober self would have cringed to hear. "Where's my brother?"

"He was off with Allison Bauer somewhere. Why?"

"We have to go soon, I think. Help me down."

Adrian jumped off the table and steadied himself before lifting me off and setting me down in front of him.

"You have got to start eating, Lily," he told me while poking my sides.

"Oh, screw you," I replied, dodging his pokes. I could not have a tickle fight while drunk…it could lead to accidents.

"I knew you had the hots for me," he shot back, giving me a one-armed hug. "Go find Georgie-poo."

I giggled and stumbled through the crowd, looking for the mop of blonde hair otherwise known as George Evans.

"Lily!"

I stopped a little unsteadily before turning around. A wave of nausea hit me that had nothing to do with alcohol.

Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Seriously, what had my former self done to deserve such misery in this current life?

He took a few steps forward, so that he was standing a mere foot away from me. "How are you? You look stunning, as usual."

He flashed me a smile, the smile that I loved oh so much.

A girl smarter and wiser than I would have run faster than Speedy Gonzales in the opposite direction, and yet I found my feet were unwilling to listen to my brain.

Apparently, my mouth and my feet had plotted against me. "I'm doing well, how are you?"

"Great, now that I've run into you. What have you been up to? Are you home for the holiday?"

"Yeah, I just came home for the week."

"That must be nice. It's so good to see you, Lils. You look so beautiful." He took a step closer and suddenly his smell was intoxicating me: a mixture of his cologne and fresh cinnamon.

"How's your girlfriend?" I said wildly, desperate for another topic. I tried to take a step back to find myself blocked by a foosball table.

Oh shit.

Ryan smiled sadly. "We're not together anymore. We broke up."

"Oh," I gulped nervously. "That's unfortunate."

"Want to know why?" he asked softly, in the voice he used to use when it was just the two of us.

"Not really, no," I said.

He ignored me. "It was because of you."

That got my attention. "Me?"

"You," he repeated. "I couldn't get you off my mind. Every time I was with her, all I could do was picture you, hear your voice, smell you scent, feel your lips…"

"We broke up over a year ago, Ryan," I said slightly annoyed. He was way too close, and I was beginning to feel the slight pangs of a headache.

"I know that, but we shouldn't have," he said softly, stroking my cheek.

Lovely. Right when I should run, my legs decide to become immobile.

"You know we were great together, Lily," he whispered. "I know I made a mistake, but I learned from it and I want you back, baby."

"I have a boyfriend now," I choked out.

"But do you love him as much as you loved me?" he whispered, looking directly into my eyes.

I didn't respond, but it wasn't necessary. Both he and I knew the answer to that question.

Ryan laughed softly. "Don't kid yourself, Lily. You and everyone else in this room know we're perfect for each other. Not only that, but it would be one that society would approve of, too."

My insides were screaming to run away, but it seemed as if my vocal chords had lost the ability to produce speech.

Ryan leaned down slowly, and suddenly his lips were on mine, the most sensational feeling. No one had ever kissed me as well as Ryan did, and all I wanted was to melt in his arms and forgive him for all his wrongdoings and just love him forever. His lips slid easily over mine while his tongue begged for entrance. I obliged willingly, and it was pure bliss. His hands ran up and down my arms, leaving a searing trail wherever they touched.

Just as suddenly though, a fire raged within me, and disgust filled me entirely. The knowledge that those same lips had touched countless others; that those hands had roamed the bodies of other girls; that the love he professed meant so little to him that he could easily go out with other girls, kiss other girls, sleep with other girls…

With all the might I had, I pushed Ryan away. He looked at me in slight alarm.

"Lily, what's wrong?" he asked me.

That little…

_SMACK_.

My hand stung, but it was worth it. I turned on my heel and left, resuming my search for George. I found Jenny dancing by the pool along the way and dragged her along with me.

"Liiiilyyyyy, it's so much fuuuuuun," she slurred.

"I know, but we have to go," I said softly. Tears were stinging the corner of my eyes, but I would not let them fall as long as he was still around.

We found George and Allison out in the front garden. After they had said goodbye to each other (a rather wordless farewell), we walked down the front path towards the street and began the walk home. Luckily, neither George nor Jenny were sober enough to notice my relative silence.

Once home, we trudged up the stairs and bade George good night before heading into my room. Jenny barely made it to the bed before completely passing out. I slowly stripped out of my clothes and slipped on my pajamas before quietly turning off the light and climbing into bed beside her.

All that had transpired with Ryan was eating me up from the inside. Not only had I technically cheated on Adam, but I had let Ryan wind me up, let him sweet talk me yet again.

The worst part was that, no matter how long it had been, or how cruel he had been, or how hard I had tried to convince myself otherwise, I still wasn't over Ryan Fitzpatrick.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Two updates in one weekend! I feel accomplished :) So there you have it: some L/J, as well as some insight into Lily's romantic past. More details on her relationship with Ryan will be revealed in the next few chapters, but I think the main reason for their breakup is made pretty clear. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed or favorited this story...it really makes my day :) Have a lovely week, and happy reading!**


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